..'coz life's too busy, things get in the way
we all feel alone every single day...
Cartel - Wasted .. download it =)
anyways nothing really much happened today woke up at like 11 in the morning coz jeffrey called me asking if i wanted to go basketball i agreed and yeah went back to sleep, then woke up at 2pm ate and bludged till 5 then took a train to the city to get some ballin on. basketball was alright today it took my mind of things for like a hour or two. i guess basketball is the thing that i guess i always will have my life. it takes me away for 1 or 2 hours but it feels like forever. basketball just shuts out all those thoughts in my head and i just think about the game. god i love it.
i played like a couple of games today pretty good besides being rusty and kinda unfit it didnt matter coz i had fun. i went with roger ware alias ushan jeff and john. then after we went to eat pho at city house. nice stuff havent eaten it in a while.
overall today was good for me helped me get my mind of things so i thank jeff for inviting me. but yeah i guess one day couldnt take that feeling away but it helped.
anyways who is the guest that commented in my comment box =o?
im really curious haha
anyways im off
laters.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
From Where You Are
i basically did nothing today again, cept sleep and watch entourage. entourage is a pretty good show ,watch it =) but yeah. my mood is slightly, wait nah its still the same. what sucks though now is that my family friend or my tito as they would say it in tagalog even though they were not your uncle or aunty or not, his dad died and when i heard this i just started to end up in that spiral again.. that spiral of all these random emo thoughts going arnd in my head... sigh..
hmms sam brought up the issue today of clare she asked me " do you miss clare?" and my answer without hesitating was "yes". i started to think about it and i do miss clare.. so here it is clare, if your reading this blog, i do miss you, i have missed you for a while ever since that stuff happened even if i blew up on abt it and you in my post before, i miss you... i just miss the times...but anyways i dunno you probably dont but yeah...just being straightforward and open to you about it, like i always been with you even though its in a blog but yeah.. dont know if your gonna read this but yeah...
anyways im off
laters.
ps. i havent really been opening up to anyone lately. so im sorry that i havent and sorry for making anyone worried im jsut finding it hard to open up these days..i guess im geting dragged down...sorry =/
hmms sam brought up the issue today of clare she asked me " do you miss clare?" and my answer without hesitating was "yes". i started to think about it and i do miss clare.. so here it is clare, if your reading this blog, i do miss you, i have missed you for a while ever since that stuff happened even if i blew up on abt it and you in my post before, i miss you... i just miss the times...but anyways i dunno you probably dont but yeah...just being straightforward and open to you about it, like i always been with you even though its in a blog but yeah.. dont know if your gonna read this but yeah...
anyways im off
laters.
ps. i havent really been opening up to anyone lately. so im sorry that i havent and sorry for making anyone worried im jsut finding it hard to open up these days..i guess im geting dragged down...sorry =/
Empty Apartment
my mood didnt change much today, it was kinda the same still something dragging me down from being happy or at least close to it. i slept alot today slept at like 2 am last night woke up at 11 chatted to leah and garmon till like 12:00 i think :S then slept till 1 logged on msn and talked to leah for a while then i think i took another nap at like 3 - 3:30 then got on msn and bludged and played on boredaussie with lease and david. then i remember taking another nap at like 6ish and woke up at 8pm i seriously cant remember my memory has somehow declined as of late im starting to forget things easier. maybe its coz im growing older or maybe coz im sick? i hafta follow up on that..
so yeah basicallly i slept alot today and wasted my time on the compl playing games and such. i really want my nba 2k8 back, i feel like playing basketball and also cod4. im gonna try study pdhpe 2mr or today since its past 12 already. i needta read over some of core 1 and i rkn ill be alright. actually ill print out my notes and highlight them. should be alright i hope =/
i was talking to femo on msn abt post hsc stuff. me and him think things wont be really hectic. itll be probably the same old thing we do at home. wake up and play games at home. we'll probably just go out more and bludge and stuff but thats about it. just a bit more money using and stuff. i actually thought i was looking forward to after hsc. but for me even though theres one more exam left it feels like hsc is already over and it doesnt really feel any different. and i dont really think that ill be feeling any different after pdhpe next week as well. sigh wtf is going on with me...
talking to leah today also made me remember alot of thigns to do after hsc. one of them is going out to shop for new clothes. i need some new things my closet seems too old. hmms i should ask someone to go out with me and shop and see how it is. we'll see what happens...
she also showed me a youtube clip of bianca and lydia singing... far out leah why do that for jokes =p sigh bianca.....*snaps out of it*..
on msn tonight i won alot of games like poker against christine. now she owes me a maccas meal, a shouted outing and a jumper. i also beat james in ranking on tetris pretty funny how he raged coz i beat him after like a few times playing. sucked in james =p
anyways im off to do more random shiz
laters.
so yeah basicallly i slept alot today and wasted my time on the compl playing games and such. i really want my nba 2k8 back, i feel like playing basketball and also cod4. im gonna try study pdhpe 2mr or today since its past 12 already. i needta read over some of core 1 and i rkn ill be alright. actually ill print out my notes and highlight them. should be alright i hope =/
i was talking to femo on msn abt post hsc stuff. me and him think things wont be really hectic. itll be probably the same old thing we do at home. wake up and play games at home. we'll probably just go out more and bludge and stuff but thats about it. just a bit more money using and stuff. i actually thought i was looking forward to after hsc. but for me even though theres one more exam left it feels like hsc is already over and it doesnt really feel any different. and i dont really think that ill be feeling any different after pdhpe next week as well. sigh wtf is going on with me...
talking to leah today also made me remember alot of thigns to do after hsc. one of them is going out to shop for new clothes. i need some new things my closet seems too old. hmms i should ask someone to go out with me and shop and see how it is. we'll see what happens...
she also showed me a youtube clip of bianca and lydia singing... far out leah why do that for jokes =p sigh bianca.....*snaps out of it*..
on msn tonight i won alot of games like poker against christine. now she owes me a maccas meal, a shouted outing and a jumper. i also beat james in ranking on tetris pretty funny how he raged coz i beat him after like a few times playing. sucked in james =p
anyways im off to do more random shiz
laters.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Vienna
lately ive been feeling....
sad
i dont know but lately theres just been some sad feeling thats overcoming me. i went out today to the city with garmon leith jeffrey david henry edmond to just go to a netcafe and bum, coz david lease and jeff finished theyre exams and wanted to go city after to celebrate. thing is though during the times we were playing cod 4 or dota i did not at all feel happy. i dont know if sad is the right word but inside it felt weird it was like something was nagging at my feelings or was just pulling my mood down.
i dont know if this will last in the long run but its definetly not easily going away. sigh..
on a lighter note i got one hsc exam left: pdhpe. hopefully i can ace it.
laters.
ps. gdluck to everyone doing 3unit maths =)
sad
i dont know but lately theres just been some sad feeling thats overcoming me. i went out today to the city with garmon leith jeffrey david henry edmond to just go to a netcafe and bum, coz david lease and jeff finished theyre exams and wanted to go city after to celebrate. thing is though during the times we were playing cod 4 or dota i did not at all feel happy. i dont know if sad is the right word but inside it felt weird it was like something was nagging at my feelings or was just pulling my mood down.
i dont know if this will last in the long run but its definetly not easily going away. sigh..
on a lighter note i got one hsc exam left: pdhpe. hopefully i can ace it.
laters.
ps. gdluck to everyone doing 3unit maths =)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Futures
i sat my maths exam today, 3hrs of maths and that was it for the rest of my life, well not really theres still maths in comm if i do it. but yeah i dont know how good or bad i went i came out of the test with a neutral feeling. i just hope i did alright. the questions didnt seem that hard but yeah oh wells. its done now. but yeah. i guess its just kinda weird that these exams we're sitting now are exams that can very well shape your future. it sucks though i havent been up to par with study. i think study just hates me and i hate studying. i just find the idea of it boring. i just cant be bothered anymore, well its not like i bothered to begin with but argh i keep pushing myself to do some study. i jsut sometimes think "do i really care abt my future?" i obviously do but wtf am i doing to make it happen ARGH! =/ i dunno, maybe its coz i mostly "go with the flow" with things but yeah sigh i've got ONE more exam left. i better make the most of these 8days i have of study. i just hope i can get some retribution from pwning pdhpe. well hopefully...
anyways aside from maths today was scorching hot. pretty annoying and sweaty and shit i basically walked arnd the house in thongs boxers and a singlet. so fucking hot... hopefully it isnt too hot 2mr. i actually cant wait for it. david jeff lease, what lucky bastards finishing 2mr. i guess im just gonna relax and hang with garmon and them. i need one of these days to get my mind of things such as hsc and the things that are going on at home. i honestly dont know whats going on with my dad now. i can tell that hes pretty down in the dumps. i just dont know what to do..
and btw who is that guest who commented in my comment box =/..
anyways imma be off
laters.
anyways aside from maths today was scorching hot. pretty annoying and sweaty and shit i basically walked arnd the house in thongs boxers and a singlet. so fucking hot... hopefully it isnt too hot 2mr. i actually cant wait for it. david jeff lease, what lucky bastards finishing 2mr. i guess im just gonna relax and hang with garmon and them. i need one of these days to get my mind of things such as hsc and the things that are going on at home. i honestly dont know whats going on with my dad now. i can tell that hes pretty down in the dumps. i just dont know what to do..
and btw who is that guest who commented in my comment box =/..
anyways imma be off
laters.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Strange And Unprepared
dammit, i pretty much wasted a day due to my talent of procrastinating. i barely did any maths today and ill suffer the consequences tomorrow during the 3hrs of my test tomorrow. im basically winging the exam tomorrow, just basing it mostly on all my knowledge that i learnt during class. ARGH there goes my hsc down the drain and im being serious about this, im not one of those guys who are like " omg im gonna fail" and get lke 80 or some shit. im seriously gonna fail. sigh just the mood of it all, i dont feel like studying, ever since those first few tests business and english. i just got over hsc. it feels like its over since i only have to more left. maths and pdhpe. sigh i just pray and wish and hope that the test is easy tomorrow, i just wanna pass or something...
i guess a lot of things have been affecting my mood lately. esp my dad's mood. he got a phonecall from his cousin in the philippines that his mum (my grandma) could die any moment now, from what i remember from my dad telling me when we last visited philippines my grandma had a stroke a couple of years back and basically she cant do anything but lie in bed all day... sigh i really wish my parents would be more open with me about this... i hadto figure this out through when my mum and dad were speaking tagalog. when i heard it i just felt shocked and had this feeling in my chest sigh its just making me feel shitty and along with me being unprepared for maths just piles up. sigh i wish i had more time.. and i pray that my grandma gets more time, my dad might be flying to the philippines to be there. i hope hes able to see her... too much shit has been happening lately. its just..=(
hmms even though theres a possiblilty that i wont get into the uni that i want im kinda trying to think positive like theres all these other ways of getting into uni just hsc is one the easiest ways. ill just hafta persevere through it all..
anyways imma go sleep or do some maths questions in the hopes of it clicking in my brain for 2mr..
5th stop: Maths
laters.
i guess a lot of things have been affecting my mood lately. esp my dad's mood. he got a phonecall from his cousin in the philippines that his mum (my grandma) could die any moment now, from what i remember from my dad telling me when we last visited philippines my grandma had a stroke a couple of years back and basically she cant do anything but lie in bed all day... sigh i really wish my parents would be more open with me about this... i hadto figure this out through when my mum and dad were speaking tagalog. when i heard it i just felt shocked and had this feeling in my chest sigh its just making me feel shitty and along with me being unprepared for maths just piles up. sigh i wish i had more time.. and i pray that my grandma gets more time, my dad might be flying to the philippines to be there. i hope hes able to see her... too much shit has been happening lately. its just..=(
hmms even though theres a possiblilty that i wont get into the uni that i want im kinda trying to think positive like theres all these other ways of getting into uni just hsc is one the easiest ways. ill just hafta persevere through it all..
anyways imma go sleep or do some maths questions in the hopes of it clicking in my brain for 2mr..
5th stop: Maths
laters.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Flux: Happy Birthday James
ah finally, i finished biology for the last time in my high school life. the paper wasnt really that hard or easy but i dont know i felt kinda dodgy abt it. some pretty dodgy questions in it but nonetheless im gonna try and not dwell over it and get a move on with maths. need to cram that hardcore this weekend in order to get 80 or above. i needto get taht to make sure my uai dragged down more than it already is so yeah i think im going state with richard today, hes gonna try teach me some maths. hopefully it works and ill be able to learn shit that i once had problems with :)
i feel pretty tired now. biology took out alot of energy from me, like after the exam i felt pretty drained. i was supposed to go state today with richard but cbb so went home and slept for a while. i dont get why im tired i ahd like a red bull and coffee in the morning, that should be enough to keep me through the day right ? wrong. caffiene has no effect on me at all. i think i grew tolerant to it or maybe it was that period of time where i didnt drink any thing with caffiene in it coz i didnt sleep one night.
haha i had this period of caffiene free francis was like in yr 5 i drank like heaps of coke one night and didnt sleep the whole night, i kinda got scared of not being able to drink anything like coke ora nything that had caffiene in so i basically just quit caffiene based products. it laste like a year then i just started drinking again and it was fine. i think in that time some antibodies were produced to combat the antigens of caffiene and such ( biology talk) and its probably why an immune response was triggered thus me being immune to caffiene.
but yeah i think i have some iron deficiency or something . i feel tired and stuff i should get my blood checked to see if anythings up =/ anyways imma be off to bed, feel extremely tired now.
laters.
i feel pretty tired now. biology took out alot of energy from me, like after the exam i felt pretty drained. i was supposed to go state today with richard but cbb so went home and slept for a while. i dont get why im tired i ahd like a red bull and coffee in the morning, that should be enough to keep me through the day right ? wrong. caffiene has no effect on me at all. i think i grew tolerant to it or maybe it was that period of time where i didnt drink any thing with caffiene in it coz i didnt sleep one night.
haha i had this period of caffiene free francis was like in yr 5 i drank like heaps of coke one night and didnt sleep the whole night, i kinda got scared of not being able to drink anything like coke ora nything that had caffiene in so i basically just quit caffiene based products. it laste like a year then i just started drinking again and it was fine. i think in that time some antibodies were produced to combat the antigens of caffiene and such ( biology talk) and its probably why an immune response was triggered thus me being immune to caffiene.
but yeah i think i have some iron deficiency or something . i feel tired and stuff i should get my blood checked to see if anythings up =/ anyways imma be off to bed, feel extremely tired now.
laters.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Biorogy
ahh i just got home from a pretty long day out studying. and its amazing coz i did study. i woke up at like 7am called garmon like 15 times then woke him up then yeah ate breakfast. i eventually got out of the house at 10 LOL and yeah got a lift to the station and took a train.
i got on the train just expecting it to be a normal train ride but then i take a seat and look in front of me or diagonally and guess who i see? MONICA my family friend that i knew since like i was a baby. it was pretty random though i hadnt seen her in a while like in 2 years =o but yeah it took me a while, my eyesight is pretty bad now so yeah i squinted a bit then yeah said hi and stuff it was pretty random but it was good seeing her. anwyays then got to state at like 11 then got down to some work. i took the occasionally 20 minute but i did enough study i guess till 1:30 then went to get some food to eat.. then i see someone else i know ROSANNA, pretty random as well, it was the girl i "picked up" at a tutor test. but yeah i didnt say hi coz i was too scared but yeah anyways after lunch came back and garmon came and studied till 5:30. garmon wanted to go uts to visit abhinay so we left at 5:30 and trekked it to uts. it wasnt that much of a long walk but i guess it was coz i was with garmon and we chatted about good shiz.
anyways got to uts at arnd 6 then studied till like 8 or something went to eat dinner got back at 9 and studied for a bit. i had a good talk with abhinay and yeah today was an alright day for studying.
im just kinda scared though, too much content to remember sigh hopefully i can sleep soon and wake up early and cram haha.
anyways im off to get some sleep
nights , wish me good luck ^^v
laters.
i got on the train just expecting it to be a normal train ride but then i take a seat and look in front of me or diagonally and guess who i see? MONICA my family friend that i knew since like i was a baby. it was pretty random though i hadnt seen her in a while like in 2 years =o but yeah it took me a while, my eyesight is pretty bad now so yeah i squinted a bit then yeah said hi and stuff it was pretty random but it was good seeing her. anwyays then got to state at like 11 then got down to some work. i took the occasionally 20 minute but i did enough study i guess till 1:30 then went to get some food to eat.. then i see someone else i know ROSANNA, pretty random as well, it was the girl i "picked up" at a tutor test. but yeah i didnt say hi coz i was too scared but yeah anyways after lunch came back and garmon came and studied till 5:30. garmon wanted to go uts to visit abhinay so we left at 5:30 and trekked it to uts. it wasnt that much of a long walk but i guess it was coz i was with garmon and we chatted about good shiz.
anyways got to uts at arnd 6 then studied till like 8 or something went to eat dinner got back at 9 and studied for a bit. i had a good talk with abhinay and yeah today was an alright day for studying.
im just kinda scared though, too much content to remember sigh hopefully i can sleep soon and wake up early and cram haha.
anyways im off to get some sleep
nights , wish me good luck ^^v
laters.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Maintaining A Balance
it feels like i havent blogged in ages, when in fact i blogged yesterday. its weird coz i guess i spend most of my day sleeping and lazing around. sigh
biology on friday GG. ive barely done enough, there goes my hsc. =(
hmms i planned to go state today but ended up not going coz of the weather, it felt so cold and demotivating or unmotivating? i dunno which one it is but yeah basically just stayed home snuggled up in my bed and thought then eventually went on the comp to do osme biology multiple choice and chat and stuff then go back to bed. sighh i feel so stoned atm.
not coz of weed of course but lately ive been feeling tired for no reason. i dont get it ive been getting like 8hrs sleep which is supposed to be the norm but i still feel tired. i remembe waking up at 10 this morning having a cup of coffee then going back to sleep... lik wtf?!?! doesnt caffiene have any effect on me anymore =/ haha
anyways on other agendas ive been thinking a lot (wow sucha suprise =O) haha just about my future, last night was pretty emo for me, garmon and a bunch of other people. sigh it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, theres just somethings i feel that i hafta fix up coz they were left just without getting solved. oh wells time will tell all. hopefully ill be able to get down to fixing it up all.. hopefully..
rofl also last night me richard garmon and jlin were "GGing" peoples facebook walls, sigh richard your a gold guy always thinking of random ideas but it was quite fun, we GGed like 3 peopls wall's or 4 i cant remember, dw GG will get to you soon ;)
anyways i shall leave you guys with a video that i came across in the folder " my logitech videos"*suss*...
laters.
biology on friday GG. ive barely done enough, there goes my hsc. =(
hmms i planned to go state today but ended up not going coz of the weather, it felt so cold and demotivating or unmotivating? i dunno which one it is but yeah basically just stayed home snuggled up in my bed and thought then eventually went on the comp to do osme biology multiple choice and chat and stuff then go back to bed. sighh i feel so stoned atm.
not coz of weed of course but lately ive been feeling tired for no reason. i dont get it ive been getting like 8hrs sleep which is supposed to be the norm but i still feel tired. i remembe waking up at 10 this morning having a cup of coffee then going back to sleep... lik wtf?!?! doesnt caffiene have any effect on me anymore =/ haha
anyways on other agendas ive been thinking a lot (wow sucha suprise =O) haha just about my future, last night was pretty emo for me, garmon and a bunch of other people. sigh it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, theres just somethings i feel that i hafta fix up coz they were left just without getting solved. oh wells time will tell all. hopefully ill be able to get down to fixing it up all.. hopefully..
rofl also last night me richard garmon and jlin were "GGing" peoples facebook walls, sigh richard your a gold guy always thinking of random ideas but it was quite fun, we GGed like 3 peopls wall's or 4 i cant remember, dw GG will get to you soon ;)
anyways i shall leave you guys with a video that i came across in the folder " my logitech videos"*suss*...
laters.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Engrish finirshered 4 lifureh
ahh if you dont get my blog title, it says " english finished for life"
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no more area of study, no more modules , fuck yeah im happy. but im only halfway through the hsc. three out of six. but i guess ill be even more relieved after maths and biology are finished. the two subjects that give me heaps of trouble, even though im asian and i should be good at maths im not so i better maths and biology it up in this coming week.
biology is on friday so imma devote most of my days to bio then the rest to maths. maths is next monday so on the weekends imma maths it hardcorely. thats the game plan. time to initiate.
then after maths i have 9 days till pdhpe so i should be alright. ill be attending garmons halloween party dressed up as a fighter pilot just like tom cruise with the song " danger zong" by tony loggins playing in the background ( how i met your mother reference, watch that tv show, its awesome)
anyways im off to do some bludging a bit, then sleep and yeah wake up and study.
laters.
ps. garmon i know the 4th stop for you is dick town, you secretly wanna helicopter us all.
dick town is a game played by garmon where he lurks underneath tables looking for peoples dicks and then sucking them
while we were studying garmon decided to play a game of dick town.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no more area of study, no more modules , fuck yeah im happy. but im only halfway through the hsc. three out of six. but i guess ill be even more relieved after maths and biology are finished. the two subjects that give me heaps of trouble, even though im asian and i should be good at maths im not so i better maths and biology it up in this coming week.
biology is on friday so imma devote most of my days to bio then the rest to maths. maths is next monday so on the weekends imma maths it hardcorely. thats the game plan. time to initiate.
then after maths i have 9 days till pdhpe so i should be alright. ill be attending garmons halloween party dressed up as a fighter pilot just like tom cruise with the song " danger zong" by tony loggins playing in the background ( how i met your mother reference, watch that tv show, its awesome)
anyways im off to do some bludging a bit, then sleep and yeah wake up and study.
laters.
ps. garmon i know the 4th stop for you is dick town, you secretly wanna helicopter us all.
dick town is a game played by garmon where he lurks underneath tables looking for peoples dicks and then sucking them
while we were studying garmon decided to play a game of dick town.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Engrish R2
english paper 2 is 2mr, and i dont know if im ready or not, im probably not but hopefully 2mr when im under the pressure i can perform. i just hope i remember all my techniques and such. like 3 essays each with one prescribed text and two related text GG. hopefully i can wake up 2mr at like 5:30 again and cram for a hour and a half.
anyways asides from that my weekend has been bludgy, i feel so lazy and stuff and i dont know why. i constantly feel uber tired at times so i end up napping and wasting 2hrs or so sigh i gotta stop sleeping so late so bad for my health =/. lol tonight sam asked me a question about my past and why me and brabra broke up. and it kinda shook me coz i didnt really know why. its like that part of my campsie bumming past was kinda just evaporated, it kinda like was blank and yeah so i asked leann and she explained, quite funny i guess but nonetheless kinda weird o.O. then sam popped the question to me if ive changed. i dunno its kinda hard to judge .everyone changes whether its bad or good. im just kinda a bad judge at it. lol sam said i was more accepting of things that im less cut over things then before. is it a good thing or a bad thing?
sometimes during times of emones i feel emotionless its weird. but oh wells.. hmms =/
this blog kinda seems weird so imma stop here
goodluck to everyone in english paper 2 pwn it hard !
3rd stop: English Paper 2
laters
anyways asides from that my weekend has been bludgy, i feel so lazy and stuff and i dont know why. i constantly feel uber tired at times so i end up napping and wasting 2hrs or so sigh i gotta stop sleeping so late so bad for my health =/. lol tonight sam asked me a question about my past and why me and brabra broke up. and it kinda shook me coz i didnt really know why. its like that part of my campsie bumming past was kinda just evaporated, it kinda like was blank and yeah so i asked leann and she explained, quite funny i guess but nonetheless kinda weird o.O. then sam popped the question to me if ive changed. i dunno its kinda hard to judge .everyone changes whether its bad or good. im just kinda a bad judge at it. lol sam said i was more accepting of things that im less cut over things then before. is it a good thing or a bad thing?
sometimes during times of emones i feel emotionless its weird. but oh wells.. hmms =/
this blog kinda seems weird so imma stop here
goodluck to everyone in english paper 2 pwn it hard !
3rd stop: English Paper 2
laters
Friday, October 17, 2008
Engrish Payper One...
...is done. WOO no more area of study. the test though, i didnt find it that badd, well not as bad as business. i felt confident that i did well when the lady said "pens down, stop writing" i dont know why, but i just felt good with the test i just did. i guess cause all the question like creative writing choices and the extended response question all applied to my creative writing story and to my essay. and for the first section i felt alright it cause i kept finding techniques and kept writing.
i wrote like a whole booklet for section 1, whole booklet for creative writing and a booklet and one page for the extended response. dont ask why i write so much or how i do write so much, i just kept writing and writing without really looking up once. guess only thing im worried about is that i didnt get to go through all my papers. i finished with like 2mins on time and i hadto just write my student number and stuff but yeah either than that i did good.. well hopefully i did ! but yeah thats it for english area of study, haha on facebook neon has his status as keep all your notes and we'll create a massive bon fire after its all done. haha cant wait for that.
2 down 4 more to go, sigh cant wait !!!!
anyways in other agendas, well nothing really has happened in my life besides tests..but yeah
hmms i was on the train home atm and my phone couldnt recieve any more msg coz its memory was full so i delted some stuff but as i was deleting stuff i was looking through old texts and yeah it kinda make me smile just looking back and yeah i remember seeing a text saying " oh coz i actually told her on monday that i might be falling for you" i dont know why it made me smile but it was from a particular person from my past that meant alot to me and was important to me. ill leave it in suspense and you guys can guess =b. then went through all this messages from clare, frank garmon roger alias richard. they were all good funny times. especially one from richard saying " hey francis i cant sleep right now i feel so horny" and alias's sms consisting only of ";)" pretty gold but yeah, im still going my msgs as i type ( yes im pro i can multitask) i have like around 2500 msgs. pretty much heaps if you like times that by 0.25 i spent like $625 =o holy shit but yeah, sigh reading msgs from .. just reminds me so much of how good it was.. and how it made me feel so happy and yeah all the late night phone calls at 3am, all the times i went to parra library but instead of studying watched a movie, all the random msgs with "i miss you" "i wanna see you too" and the random times at state with david as a 3rd wheel LOL... sigh.. anyways *Snaps out of it* i ended up not deleting anymore msgs. i guess i like to hold on to the memories but yeah. i kind of wonder, what would you do if you did lose your memories, like yeah obviously you would not know that you did, but if you found out if you did would you try to get them back? would you try to figure out who you were and who meant something to you in your life? (if im making no sense plz just disregard what im saying about this LOL) but yeah made me wonder but oh wells...
anyways imma be off to nap or something
feel pretty tired
laters.
i wrote like a whole booklet for section 1, whole booklet for creative writing and a booklet and one page for the extended response. dont ask why i write so much or how i do write so much, i just kept writing and writing without really looking up once. guess only thing im worried about is that i didnt get to go through all my papers. i finished with like 2mins on time and i hadto just write my student number and stuff but yeah either than that i did good.. well hopefully i did ! but yeah thats it for english area of study, haha on facebook neon has his status as keep all your notes and we'll create a massive bon fire after its all done. haha cant wait for that.
2 down 4 more to go, sigh cant wait !!!!
anyways in other agendas, well nothing really has happened in my life besides tests..but yeah
hmms i was on the train home atm and my phone couldnt recieve any more msg coz its memory was full so i delted some stuff but as i was deleting stuff i was looking through old texts and yeah it kinda make me smile just looking back and yeah i remember seeing a text saying " oh coz i actually told her on monday that i might be falling for you" i dont know why it made me smile but it was from a particular person from my past that meant alot to me and was important to me. ill leave it in suspense and you guys can guess =b. then went through all this messages from clare, frank garmon roger alias richard. they were all good funny times. especially one from richard saying " hey francis i cant sleep right now i feel so horny" and alias's sms consisting only of ";)" pretty gold but yeah, im still going my msgs as i type ( yes im pro i can multitask) i have like around 2500 msgs. pretty much heaps if you like times that by 0.25 i spent like $625 =o holy shit but yeah, sigh reading msgs from .. just reminds me so much of how good it was.. and how it made me feel so happy and yeah all the late night phone calls at 3am, all the times i went to parra library but instead of studying watched a movie, all the random msgs with "i miss you" "i wanna see you too" and the random times at state with david as a 3rd wheel LOL... sigh.. anyways *Snaps out of it* i ended up not deleting anymore msgs. i guess i like to hold on to the memories but yeah. i kind of wonder, what would you do if you did lose your memories, like yeah obviously you would not know that you did, but if you found out if you did would you try to get them back? would you try to figure out who you were and who meant something to you in your life? (if im making no sense plz just disregard what im saying about this LOL) but yeah made me wonder but oh wells...
anyways imma be off to nap or something
feel pretty tired
laters.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Got Down To Business, Got Pwnt By Business
the mood after the business studies test today was pretty shit, well among my close group of friends, garmon, david , jeff and leith, they all found it a pretty shit test. hearing david saying ' FUCK, shittest test ever" and shit like that after it was all done. i really dont know how i did in that test, like i had a few moments of blankness throughout the test where i just spaced out, but after a while of thinking i answered the questions. i answered all of them in fact and i dont know i felt alright i guess. sigh well i hope i did alright, cant afford to get fucked =/
anyways well all i can say is that, that is it for business studies for the rest of my life, i feel fully relieved that i finished that exam, i guess business was an exam that i fully got scared and worried about and i could feel it in my stomach this morning, the feeling of nervousness and scaredynes( is that even a word?) but yeah i fully felt sick in the car, pretyt shit feeling but yeah nonetheless thats over with, no point on dwelling on it. got english paper 1 tomorrow.
i dont know if its in my right to say, but i feel okay with english? well paper 1 at least. i feel cocky about it and i know i shouldnt, i dont know why but yeah after this blog imma type up my shit and go over it, hopefully itll be enough to get me good 2mr. whats really dodgy abt 2mr is that essay, creative and comprehension is all worht the same 15 marks. so yeah i just hope i can cram it out and do good.
anyways off to finish typing up my notes.
wish me luck and goodluck to everyone else :)
2nd stop: English Paper 1
laters.
anyways well all i can say is that, that is it for business studies for the rest of my life, i feel fully relieved that i finished that exam, i guess business was an exam that i fully got scared and worried about and i could feel it in my stomach this morning, the feeling of nervousness and scaredynes( is that even a word?) but yeah i fully felt sick in the car, pretyt shit feeling but yeah nonetheless thats over with, no point on dwelling on it. got english paper 1 tomorrow.
i dont know if its in my right to say, but i feel okay with english? well paper 1 at least. i feel cocky about it and i know i shouldnt, i dont know why but yeah after this blog imma type up my shit and go over it, hopefully itll be enough to get me good 2mr. whats really dodgy abt 2mr is that essay, creative and comprehension is all worht the same 15 marks. so yeah i just hope i can cram it out and do good.
anyways off to finish typing up my notes.
wish me luck and goodluck to everyone else :)
2nd stop: English Paper 1
laters.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
12hrs and 20mins HSC Begins: The Nerves Are Kicking In
as the title says, the nerves are kicking in, as i took the bins out and when i was walking down the rampway, the nerves just started kicking in, just the fact that 12 years of schooling comes to this, all those small tests, like basic skills test, the o.c test, the selective test, ella and so far and here the big one is the HSC, where all that shit from school it jsut comes down to this test, and i admit im feeling the pressure to perfom.
i would like to think i kept to schedule today but i didnt really, i woke up at 7am though, called garmon and yeah thing was though, i didnt get out of bed, i was too tired so yeah i kinda struggled and ended up getting up at 11. then ate and that kinda took me a hour so ended up getting down to business at 12. i was pretty impressed with my study, i studied like 2hrs straight, took a break, then studied 2hrs again. then i felt kinda tired so i napped for a hour then woke up ate dinner and then did some business past papers, and here i am blogging. so all in all im pretty okay with my studies today, ill probably study a bit more after this and then hopefully get to sleep before 10. i plan to sleep at 10 then wake up at like 5:30 and cram like 2hrs or so and hopefully im set. wish me luck everybody, ill be needing it ><", i cant wait till business is over, its one test im extremly worried about=( hope its not too hard...
lol i just finished saying goodbye to everyone on msn, as i am quitting msn until the hsc, hopefully i can be able to just go home and study after every test, no more procrastinating on msn. but dont be sad, ill still be blogging and yeah so keep in touch, comment on my shiz, call me, txt me or whatever :D
anyways imma be off now, to cram for a bit then go to sleep. wish me luck everyone, and i hope all of you guys study hard and pwn the hsc. i love you all :D
GOODLUCK TO EVERYONE DOING THE HSC.
1st stop: Business Studies.
laters.
i would like to think i kept to schedule today but i didnt really, i woke up at 7am though, called garmon and yeah thing was though, i didnt get out of bed, i was too tired so yeah i kinda struggled and ended up getting up at 11. then ate and that kinda took me a hour so ended up getting down to business at 12. i was pretty impressed with my study, i studied like 2hrs straight, took a break, then studied 2hrs again. then i felt kinda tired so i napped for a hour then woke up ate dinner and then did some business past papers, and here i am blogging. so all in all im pretty okay with my studies today, ill probably study a bit more after this and then hopefully get to sleep before 10. i plan to sleep at 10 then wake up at like 5:30 and cram like 2hrs or so and hopefully im set. wish me luck everybody, ill be needing it ><", i cant wait till business is over, its one test im extremly worried about=( hope its not too hard...
lol i just finished saying goodbye to everyone on msn, as i am quitting msn until the hsc, hopefully i can be able to just go home and study after every test, no more procrastinating on msn. but dont be sad, ill still be blogging and yeah so keep in touch, comment on my shiz, call me, txt me or whatever :D
anyways imma be off now, to cram for a bit then go to sleep. wish me luck everyone, and i hope all of you guys study hard and pwn the hsc. i love you all :D
GOODLUCK TO EVERYONE DOING THE HSC.
1st stop: Business Studies.
laters.
Judgement Day, Tomorrow 9:20am: Getting Down To The Business End Of The Season?
as i sit here drinking my hot chocolate milo, i realise that tomorrow at this time, id probably be sleeping or feeling guilty that i did shit in my first hsc exam. argh, i guess ive been lying to myself lately and to other people, telling them im feeling fine abt hsc and tht ive done heaps of study. but heres the truth, ive barely done enough study these holidays, NO WHERE NEAR ENOUGH, sigh and lately these nearly sleepless nights have been the cause of constant feelings of guilt, sadness and hope that i will do good for hsc. im currently wide awake atm, business notes right in front of me, nothings been getting through so ill give up, nothings been getting through for like the 5 hrs ive been studying business. fuck im so screwed i just hope today that i will cram the fuck out of myself and jsut hope i can apply everything i learn of business in this one test. this one 3 hour test.
anyways on the note of my not so bright future, i was talking to garmon abt this, he feels the shit i feel too. i dont nkow why im wide awake atm. it just sucks, just talking about uni all i want to get is a uai of 82.55 to get in macquarie for commerce. but i feel so shit that i wont get it. sigh depressing... its like garmon said, we spent like 2weeks of our holidays only god knows what, i dont even know where those two weeks went, it feels like two weeks of my life were just ripped out of the space time continuum, or maybe i just procrastinated it. im guessing i procrastinated it...but anyways now here i am bloggin about my despair over hsc. *sips milo* i hope this hot milo choc can get me sleepy, and hope i can wake up at like 7am or 8am tomorro, call garmon, have breakfast and get down to business. i sincerely pray for this, just for everyone i care about to do good and hsc and for me to just get through this and get good in the hsc and get a good uai. i wish i could make 1000 cranes now and just wish for me to get a good uai. haha am i sounding desperate? wishful thinking? yeah i guess...hope i study goodly today.
anyways on a lighter note was talking to leah on msn about bianca along with some other stuff. i kinda like retelling what happened back then. it kinda makes me feel like the old ted from "how i met your mother" just retelling my past and stuff and how i got to this point. i kinda got abruptly interrupted by leah while telling the story, nah jokes she was tired but yeah so she went to sleep and i told her id tell her the story next time. its like an episode ends with a "to be continued..". i guess life is like that. moments in your life often end in to be continued. either it be when your telling someone you like them over the phone and theres that sudden silence or when you fall asleep that moment is a to be continued because life is always random and changing. you decide it. and im guessing im just relating this to myself(i dont get what i jsut typed). i need to study. haha i can see garmon now being like " there you go again comparing yourself to a tv show, life isnt liek that", yeah i know but i like to dream, just like that song by the game and kanye west "dreams" dehehe and garmon man, i love you LOL. gold times. *sips milo*
ive also realised that ive been blogging everyday of this month i think, i guess i want to look back at this in a years time and be like, "awesomee" and who knows maybe one day i can turn these posts into episodes of some sort of sitcom called "how i met garmon" LOL or my blog title "dreaming with a broken heart" or some shiz like that. probably not.. but i can dream right? *sips milo*
my cup is empty now so i guess its a sign of me to get off the comp get into bed and hopefully get a good few hours of sleep, then wake up, call garmon , eat brekkie then jsut get down to some serious cramming.
wish me luck guys.
and even though it seems like i cant save the world as of yet. i will one day... eventually...
just need to get through hsc first.. just needta get through 20more days...
just 20 more.. *pumps fist to promote self -esteem* lol..
laters.
anyways on the note of my not so bright future, i was talking to garmon abt this, he feels the shit i feel too. i dont nkow why im wide awake atm. it just sucks, just talking about uni all i want to get is a uai of 82.55 to get in macquarie for commerce. but i feel so shit that i wont get it. sigh depressing... its like garmon said, we spent like 2weeks of our holidays only god knows what, i dont even know where those two weeks went, it feels like two weeks of my life were just ripped out of the space time continuum, or maybe i just procrastinated it. im guessing i procrastinated it...but anyways now here i am bloggin about my despair over hsc. *sips milo* i hope this hot milo choc can get me sleepy, and hope i can wake up at like 7am or 8am tomorro, call garmon, have breakfast and get down to business. i sincerely pray for this, just for everyone i care about to do good and hsc and for me to just get through this and get good in the hsc and get a good uai. i wish i could make 1000 cranes now and just wish for me to get a good uai. haha am i sounding desperate? wishful thinking? yeah i guess...hope i study goodly today.
anyways on a lighter note was talking to leah on msn about bianca along with some other stuff. i kinda like retelling what happened back then. it kinda makes me feel like the old ted from "how i met your mother" just retelling my past and stuff and how i got to this point. i kinda got abruptly interrupted by leah while telling the story, nah jokes she was tired but yeah so she went to sleep and i told her id tell her the story next time. its like an episode ends with a "to be continued..". i guess life is like that. moments in your life often end in to be continued. either it be when your telling someone you like them over the phone and theres that sudden silence or when you fall asleep that moment is a to be continued because life is always random and changing. you decide it. and im guessing im just relating this to myself(i dont get what i jsut typed). i need to study. haha i can see garmon now being like " there you go again comparing yourself to a tv show, life isnt liek that", yeah i know but i like to dream, just like that song by the game and kanye west "dreams" dehehe and garmon man, i love you LOL. gold times. *sips milo*
ive also realised that ive been blogging everyday of this month i think, i guess i want to look back at this in a years time and be like, "awesomee" and who knows maybe one day i can turn these posts into episodes of some sort of sitcom called "how i met garmon" LOL or my blog title "dreaming with a broken heart" or some shiz like that. probably not.. but i can dream right? *sips milo*
my cup is empty now so i guess its a sign of me to get off the comp get into bed and hopefully get a good few hours of sleep, then wake up, call garmon , eat brekkie then jsut get down to some serious cramming.
wish me luck guys.
and even though it seems like i cant save the world as of yet. i will one day... eventually...
just need to get through hsc first.. just needta get through 20more days...
just 20 more.. *pumps fist to promote self -esteem* lol..
laters.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Little Thoughts
i was supposed to do this like two hours ago, as i told everyone on msn i was going to get food " brb im gonna get food" i did end up getting food but also going to my room to lay down. i felt extremly tired at the time so i just decided to lie down. i ended up taking a nap with the tv on and here i am now freshly awake from a power nap feeling not tired. pretty random i guess. but nonetheless im blogging. i guess i am a sleepyhead as leah would say.
anyways i went to state yesterday. was it productive on my part? no not really, but it was better than what i would do at home. i got to state at like 10:43 ish or something, i cant remember and i worked steadily till like 12:30 then headed out to get lunch with garmon, lease, liz and lucy. i ended up filling my jap craving today by getting chicken katsu don. my god i was happy. anyways after that garmon wanted to get parfait so ewnt to max brenners but to his depression there wasnt any so he ended up getting a chocolate lick. LOL nah jokes he didnt it just sounds funny. he ordered like a frappe btw. after this walked back to state and tried to get some study done. i realised it was reptty hard. i hate being one of those people who are like easily distracted coz i just dont stop being distracted i just continue on. anyways after a while of bludging garmon came up with another theory, that everyone who walked up or down the stairs, male or female and theyre holding onto the rail means they want dick, if theyre not they are satifisied sexually. after a few laughs here and there with garmon i actually began to just look over notes and highlight. i learnt some shit but not as much study as i intended to. need to fully crank it up these next two days to achieve maximum results in business and must cram to the max. anyways at like 7ish decided to leave. took a train home with besney, had some interest convos but pretty much it. i realised i hate walking home on like a night where during the day it was pretty hot. its all sticky and stuff and it was pretty random coz when i got home and got changed i was like itchy in most places and im like wtf. damn mosquitoes. 4 seasons have like past and ive just realised that its been so quick. i remember not so long ago i was blogging abt bianca. sigh good old past bloggging times.
i also realised today that i extremely suck at creative writing, i dont know why im just not creative enough i just seem to overthink a lot and my stories end up being recounts, thanks garmon for the advice. i needta work on that before eng paper 1....
the amazing thing was abt today (well yesterday) was that i woke up at 7am. im trying to get back into that habit of waking up at 7am coz i hafto. coz if i think about it. my routine on my hsc test days will be. wake up at 7, spend 15mings getting out of bed. 7:15 get out of bed wash face toilet etc. then shower at 7:20 - 7:30, eat breakfast get ready and by the time ist 8 im outta my house and on the way to school. get to school at like 8:45 then i have like half a hour to cram and also the travelling time. pretty efficient shit i jsut needta wake up early.
there are alot of advantages and disadvantages of waking up
advantages:
disadvantages:
but yeah
i dont know ive mentioned this, but recently ive been growing a beard. i know coz im asian its physically impossible to do so. but im just gonna try. so suck you guys for being like " nah man you cant do it" coz i probably wont. but its fun. ive been growing it since the start of the holidays. its not a beard, but basically its some cool goatee and moustache. its my hsc beard, see how long it is after hsc, and probably shave it. random much? yeah i guess but its funsies.
anyways thats enough funsies for today.
time to resume downloading albums and such again.
over and out.
laters.
ps. how do you pronounce the letter "Z", ZEE or ZED? discuss
anyways i went to state yesterday. was it productive on my part? no not really, but it was better than what i would do at home. i got to state at like 10:43 ish or something, i cant remember and i worked steadily till like 12:30 then headed out to get lunch with garmon, lease, liz and lucy. i ended up filling my jap craving today by getting chicken katsu don. my god i was happy. anyways after that garmon wanted to get parfait so ewnt to max brenners but to his depression there wasnt any so he ended up getting a chocolate lick. LOL nah jokes he didnt it just sounds funny. he ordered like a frappe btw. after this walked back to state and tried to get some study done. i realised it was reptty hard. i hate being one of those people who are like easily distracted coz i just dont stop being distracted i just continue on. anyways after a while of bludging garmon came up with another theory, that everyone who walked up or down the stairs, male or female and theyre holding onto the rail means they want dick, if theyre not they are satifisied sexually. after a few laughs here and there with garmon i actually began to just look over notes and highlight. i learnt some shit but not as much study as i intended to. need to fully crank it up these next two days to achieve maximum results in business and must cram to the max. anyways at like 7ish decided to leave. took a train home with besney, had some interest convos but pretty much it. i realised i hate walking home on like a night where during the day it was pretty hot. its all sticky and stuff and it was pretty random coz when i got home and got changed i was like itchy in most places and im like wtf. damn mosquitoes. 4 seasons have like past and ive just realised that its been so quick. i remember not so long ago i was blogging abt bianca. sigh good old past bloggging times.
i also realised today that i extremely suck at creative writing, i dont know why im just not creative enough i just seem to overthink a lot and my stories end up being recounts, thanks garmon for the advice. i needta work on that before eng paper 1....
the amazing thing was abt today (well yesterday) was that i woke up at 7am. im trying to get back into that habit of waking up at 7am coz i hafto. coz if i think about it. my routine on my hsc test days will be. wake up at 7, spend 15mings getting out of bed. 7:15 get out of bed wash face toilet etc. then shower at 7:20 - 7:30, eat breakfast get ready and by the time ist 8 im outta my house and on the way to school. get to school at like 8:45 then i have like half a hour to cram and also the travelling time. pretty efficient shit i jsut needta wake up early.
there are alot of advantages and disadvantages of waking up
advantages:
- you have the whole day left for you to study, in my case my whole day if i woke up at 7am would be (7am - 3am)
- get used to the whole waking up early thing, instead of when on hsc tests your like " oh fuck" when you miss your alarm and miss the test
- you just wake up.
- my dad makes me coffee
- get breakfast in.
- your able to do alot of shit throughout the day
disadvantages:
- it sucks if you sleep late.
- not be able to function throughout the day if you slept late the night before
- in the winter its freezing.
- waking up early is just not my thing
- morning glory? (i dont know its just hard to aim LOL)
- the fact that i hadto wake up early could be cause of a shit reason.
- i dunno *mumbled in francis accent*
but yeah
i dont know ive mentioned this, but recently ive been growing a beard. i know coz im asian its physically impossible to do so. but im just gonna try. so suck you guys for being like " nah man you cant do it" coz i probably wont. but its fun. ive been growing it since the start of the holidays. its not a beard, but basically its some cool goatee and moustache. its my hsc beard, see how long it is after hsc, and probably shave it. random much? yeah i guess but its funsies.
anyways thats enough funsies for today.
time to resume downloading albums and such again.
over and out.
laters.
ps. how do you pronounce the letter "Z", ZEE or ZED? discuss
Monday, October 13, 2008
UNCAPPED.. oh shiee
im pretty happy now, coz im uncapped, sigh good times, now i can get back to downloading tv shows, it felt so long waiting for this moment, ever since 10 iwas waiting for it to be 12, and when i saw the clock and it only said 11 i was pretty sad, coz it felt like 5 hrs had gone by, funny thing is when it hit 12 i didnt notice and only noticed just now that im uncapped, pretty crazy.
ANYWAYS, 3 days left till my FIRST exam, business studies first up. i must admit ive barely done jack for business and its funny coz im not really feeling the pressure of hsc. i blame the post trial period, we had like a month or so to bum after trials that all we did was just that, i barely did anything. but yeah oh wells, must cram it up in these times. going state library today at like 9am, hope my sister wakes me up. haha suckas they still have so much time left till they finish school and LOL at wendie, if your reading this , sucked in 1more year left for you to finish, while i have 24 days left muahaha :D
and leah, scarlett johansson is the best, dont know whats wrong with you LOL jokes leah :P
hmms anyways imma be off to download tv shows and go sleep as well, need to get back into the habit of sleeping early or GG hsc, wake up late and miss the exam. ive become like nocturnal during the holidays, sleeping at 5am then waking up at like 3pm onwards. must break that habit. imma vow to sleep at like 10pm at least, or 11pm wake up at 7am cram a bit then try to pwn the test. keyword there being "try" haha
and on msn ive been cracking lame smart ass jokes esp to sam. gosh lol
heres an example:
[★] // 1분 1ì´ˆ_____♥ x ' stitch<3'slilo ' x LUCSAUR&KY-REX says (00:39):
hows ur day
[AFA '08] francis ♪~! ゼムsays (00:40):
lol well
[AFA '08] francis ♪~! ゼムsays (00:40):
its only been 40mins of the day
[AFA '08] francis ♪~! ゼムsays (00:40):
so its been alright
[AFA '08] francis ♪~! ゼムsays (00:40):
yours?
[★] // 1분 1ì´ˆ_____♥ x ' stitch<3'slilo ' x LUCSAUR&KY-REX says (00:40):
AAHAHAH
[★] // 1분 1ì´ˆ_____♥ x ' stitch<3'slilo ' x LUCSAUR&KY-REX says (00:40):
:P gosh being a smart ass
anyways im off. vic (not vic xiong) said its 26 degrees today, damn good day for the beach. but hsc. study. argh CANT WAIT TILL AFTER HSC GONNA RIP IT UP.
laters.
ANYWAYS, 3 days left till my FIRST exam, business studies first up. i must admit ive barely done jack for business and its funny coz im not really feeling the pressure of hsc. i blame the post trial period, we had like a month or so to bum after trials that all we did was just that, i barely did anything. but yeah oh wells, must cram it up in these times. going state library today at like 9am, hope my sister wakes me up. haha suckas they still have so much time left till they finish school and LOL at wendie, if your reading this , sucked in 1more year left for you to finish, while i have 24 days left muahaha :D
and leah, scarlett johansson is the best, dont know whats wrong with you LOL jokes leah :P
hmms anyways imma be off to download tv shows and go sleep as well, need to get back into the habit of sleeping early or GG hsc, wake up late and miss the exam. ive become like nocturnal during the holidays, sleeping at 5am then waking up at like 3pm onwards. must break that habit. imma vow to sleep at like 10pm at least, or 11pm wake up at 7am cram a bit then try to pwn the test. keyword there being "try" haha
and on msn ive been cracking lame smart ass jokes esp to sam. gosh lol
heres an example:
[★] // 1분 1ì´ˆ_____♥ x ' stitch<3'slilo ' x LUCSAUR&KY-REX says (00:39):
hows ur day
[AFA '08] francis ♪~! ゼムsays (00:40):
lol well
[AFA '08] francis ♪~! ゼムsays (00:40):
its only been 40mins of the day
[AFA '08] francis ♪~! ゼムsays (00:40):
so its been alright
[AFA '08] francis ♪~! ゼムsays (00:40):
yours?
[★] // 1분 1ì´ˆ_____♥ x ' stitch<3'slilo ' x LUCSAUR&KY-REX says (00:40):
AAHAHAH
[★] // 1분 1ì´ˆ_____♥ x ' stitch<3'slilo ' x LUCSAUR&KY-REX says (00:40):
:P gosh being a smart ass
anyways im off. vic (not vic xiong) said its 26 degrees today, damn good day for the beach. but hsc. study. argh CANT WAIT TILL AFTER HSC GONNA RIP IT UP.
laters.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Back2Back
i woke up at 3:35pm today, fuck i dont get how i can sleep so long, maybe coz i sleep late? but yeah, half my day pretty ruined, but suprisingly i managed to get a biology text book out, and do some questions, that was pretty pro but either than that i did no other study. pretty bl as garmon would say, with hsc in like 4 days or 5, i cant count properly, ahh so screwed ><
this week is going to be ultimate cramming for me, i think im gonna quit the comp (doubt it) when hsc finishes, just print out all my notes, and then wednesday night when i get off thatll be probably the last time ill be on the comp or on msn at least, ill probably still be blogging but yeah, needta get off the comp, wasted a lot of time procrastinating on the comp these holidays, sigh its fucken killing my study. if only i wasnt the procrastinator i was, id get good study done, but im easily distracted so it sucks. but oh wells, 4 more days need to put into motion some good study/cram.
argh this is pissing me off, my mouse the roller thing is like broken or something, so i cant use it to scroll down, its quite annoying coz im so used to it, now i hafta manually click. sad days !
back 2 back - chris brown, check that shizzle out =)
anyways im off to attempt to sleep early, my nights of sleeping at 5am havent stopped, hopefully tonight ill be able to sleep earlier, hopefully><
laters.
ps. scarlett johansson <3 :D
this week is going to be ultimate cramming for me, i think im gonna quit the comp (doubt it) when hsc finishes, just print out all my notes, and then wednesday night when i get off thatll be probably the last time ill be on the comp or on msn at least, ill probably still be blogging but yeah, needta get off the comp, wasted a lot of time procrastinating on the comp these holidays, sigh its fucken killing my study. if only i wasnt the procrastinator i was, id get good study done, but im easily distracted so it sucks. but oh wells, 4 more days need to put into motion some good study/cram.
argh this is pissing me off, my mouse the roller thing is like broken or something, so i cant use it to scroll down, its quite annoying coz im so used to it, now i hafta manually click. sad days !
back 2 back - chris brown, check that shizzle out =)
anyways im off to attempt to sleep early, my nights of sleeping at 5am havent stopped, hopefully tonight ill be able to sleep earlier, hopefully><
laters.
ps. scarlett johansson <3 :D
Friday, October 10, 2008
Happiness?
if happiness had a form what would it look like? it might be something like glass, because one doesn't notice it normally. however, it is actually there. As Proof, if you change the angle you look at it,the glass will reflect light it will state its presence and existence more eloquently than any other thing in this world
after hearing this a question popped into my head. am i happy?
its been weird lately, ive been having nearly sleepless nights and i just come to terms to why i cant sleep so much earlier. is it cause im not happy with things how they are? am i an insomniac now? or am i just, just..
sigh
i guess the real answer is, im not happy. garmon said he felt bad today. i dont know why but you dont need to be sorry or feel bad. its just i dont know how to explain. sorry if i ruin your mood or anything but yeah.
[★] // 1분 1ì´ˆ_____♥ x ' stitch<3'slilo ' x LUCSAUR&KY-REX says (23:21):
im sure theres alot of stuff on ur mind
lol sam, no shit there is.
theres nothing much else to blog about, my mood as it is, is pretty fucken shit.
*fades out*
laters.
ps. sorry.
after hearing this a question popped into my head. am i happy?
its been weird lately, ive been having nearly sleepless nights and i just come to terms to why i cant sleep so much earlier. is it cause im not happy with things how they are? am i an insomniac now? or am i just, just..
sigh
i guess the real answer is, im not happy. garmon said he felt bad today. i dont know why but you dont need to be sorry or feel bad. its just i dont know how to explain. sorry if i ruin your mood or anything but yeah.
[★] // 1분 1ì´ˆ_____♥ x ' stitch<3'slilo ' x LUCSAUR&KY-REX says (23:21):
im sure theres alot of stuff on ur mind
lol sam, no shit there is.
theres nothing much else to blog about, my mood as it is, is pretty fucken shit.
*fades out*
laters.
ps. sorry.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Which To Bury, Us Or The Hatchet.
i went to state today with garmon, mishjeff, chris, iris, alias, roger and john came randomly. did the 1hr of biology that neon asked me to do these holidays so i guess im pretty happy, just have to keep that up.
it was an alright day, besdies the fact that i jsut dont get how someone can act so selfishly, yes i am referring to the one they call "" (ill just disclose this incase she reads it, doubt she does) but anyways, like what the fuck is your problem seriously, treating me like that, looking back at it in perspective i was just stunned at the time, coz i was literally what the fuck. like she comes up to me, in this bitchy tone " oh hey do you have my i.d ?" " uhh yeah" *goes through wallet and gives her it* " oh and can you remove those pictures from facebook" *she walks off* like the fuck?, not even a plz or thank you. like fucken hell, the fact that you did that i guess you are the bitch that everyone thinks you are for treating me like this, but the fact that you didnt even explain yourself that day like a week back about how things have changed and all you could say is " its complicated, maybe later?" is what hurts more, the fact that your treating me like jack shit now, not giving me an explanation. it fucken hurts, its just making me wonder now, did my friendship matter to you at all? like why give up on me, when all the other times we've been through alot, i have not once hindered to get your forgiveness and make things right again...fuck
*stops rant*
when i heard this "if theres someone who can inflict so much pain to you, theres someone definately who can give you just as much happiness" i kinda got at ease, whether or not you choose to believe that, i guess is up to you, but theyre words that are kidna getting me through this so yeah.
i slept at 5am again last night, sleeping patterns are fucked, sigh i woke up at 8am too and pranked garmon, he picked up so i just hung up, didnt know it was me, but yeah if your reading this garmon, deheh im kind of suprised i functioned today, only got like 3hrs of sleep so yeah wtf at me.
this song just popped up and its quit fitting with things;
RELIENT K - WHICH TO BURY, US OR THE HATCHET
I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget
and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened
And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for not
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far
Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault
I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
And wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)
[x2]
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far
What happened to us
I heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...
its fitting, its funny how i always interwine parts of my life to a song, everyone does it even if they choose not to acknowledge it. this is why music is a big part of life, well for me it is.
anyways im off
laters
ps . i swore a lot in this blog, sorry
it was an alright day, besdies the fact that i jsut dont get how someone can act so selfishly, yes i am referring to the one they call "" (ill just disclose this incase she reads it, doubt she does) but anyways, like what the fuck is your problem seriously, treating me like that, looking back at it in perspective i was just stunned at the time, coz i was literally what the fuck. like she comes up to me, in this bitchy tone " oh hey do you have my i.d ?" " uhh yeah" *goes through wallet and gives her it* " oh and can you remove those pictures from facebook" *she walks off* like the fuck?, not even a plz or thank you. like fucken hell, the fact that you did that i guess you are the bitch that everyone thinks you are for treating me like this, but the fact that you didnt even explain yourself that day like a week back about how things have changed and all you could say is " its complicated, maybe later?" is what hurts more, the fact that your treating me like jack shit now, not giving me an explanation. it fucken hurts, its just making me wonder now, did my friendship matter to you at all? like why give up on me, when all the other times we've been through alot, i have not once hindered to get your forgiveness and make things right again...fuck
*stops rant*
when i heard this "if theres someone who can inflict so much pain to you, theres someone definately who can give you just as much happiness" i kinda got at ease, whether or not you choose to believe that, i guess is up to you, but theyre words that are kidna getting me through this so yeah.
i slept at 5am again last night, sleeping patterns are fucked, sigh i woke up at 8am too and pranked garmon, he picked up so i just hung up, didnt know it was me, but yeah if your reading this garmon, deheh im kind of suprised i functioned today, only got like 3hrs of sleep so yeah wtf at me.
this song just popped up and its quit fitting with things;
RELIENT K - WHICH TO BURY, US OR THE HATCHET
I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget
and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened
And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for not
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far
Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault
I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
And wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)
[x2]
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far
What happened to us
I heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...
its fitting, its funny how i always interwine parts of my life to a song, everyone does it even if they choose not to acknowledge it. this is why music is a big part of life, well for me it is.
anyways im off
laters
ps . i swore a lot in this blog, sorry
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Sleepless Nights
i got to sleep at like 5am or 6am last night i cant really remember, i just remember looking at the clock saying 5am, i dont know why i fell asleep so late, just pondering on thigns i guess. i kinda remember just going to bed at like 2am, then just thought and thought, dont even remember what i did last night, haha how random but yeah i ended up waking up at 3pm today.
pretty unproductive day, didnt really study that much, kinda feel bad but oh wells, 8 more days till my first exam. sigh sad times =/ haha i hate being capped, im capped for like 5 more days, i guess its good for me, ill procrastinate less on the comp? doubt it haha im procrastinating now, and i have been for the passt few hours. lkashfdlsakhdflsa sigh
i have a craving for kfc..
for these past few days ive been having this weird feeling thats just overcome me, i dont know what it is i just dont know how to deal with it. its just some feeling where my mind is blank and i dont know what to say or do. it sucks really, coz i think about what i want to say, then i forget it a second later. amnesia? i doubt it, maybe im just in a phase. argh
*blanks out*
laters.
pretty unproductive day, didnt really study that much, kinda feel bad but oh wells, 8 more days till my first exam. sigh sad times =/ haha i hate being capped, im capped for like 5 more days, i guess its good for me, ill procrastinate less on the comp? doubt it haha im procrastinating now, and i have been for the passt few hours. lkashfdlsakhdflsa sigh
i have a craving for kfc..
for these past few days ive been having this weird feeling thats just overcome me, i dont know what it is i just dont know how to deal with it. its just some feeling where my mind is blank and i dont know what to say or do. it sucks really, coz i think about what i want to say, then i forget it a second later. amnesia? i doubt it, maybe im just in a phase. argh
*blanks out*
laters.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
..Time
i realised today that in a months or month, ( im crap at eng), its all over, yes hsc is all over. and i just realised time is of the essence now. sigh i tried studying alot today and as usual i got pwnt and procrastinated quite a bit. i did abit of business reading and maths, but other than that not much sigh and to think theres like 10 -12 something days left. i cbb looking it up , its too depressing ZOMG !?!?!
anyways i dont know if i mentioned this but i finished kh2 last night, sucha a good game, finished it in like 48 hours , yes thats like 2days of my holidays wasted on gaming but hey it was worth it, to see the sad ending and then speculating on what would happen next. but for gaming i guess thats it, i realised i didnt have the drive to game as i did before back in those years of puberty, always wanting to just play ps2 and such, now its just kinda boring, unless the game is interesting like kh. sigh good times. but yeah hmms i like the song sanctuary by utadu hikaru, as garmon said any song that is put up there related to pictures is just compelling and makes you interested in it, but i guess its more than that, its sucha deep song and it soudns nice so yeah :D
anyways on the topic of music, if your reading my blog you probably noticed that i added the ipod thing. its pro. hafto thank leah for linking me to that site ^^ www.myflashfetish.com yes sounds kinda wrong, and as leah was reluctant to first check it out, so was i , but then i clicked it and i got pwnt procrastinating oh wells xD far out leah =p
anyways but yes :D
and now i just checked how long it is till my first test 9 days zomg
=/
to do list:
funny for once it is =="
so im off once again to save the world ( i wish i could)
anyways :D
laters.
anyways i dont know if i mentioned this but i finished kh2 last night, sucha a good game, finished it in like 48 hours , yes thats like 2days of my holidays wasted on gaming but hey it was worth it, to see the sad ending and then speculating on what would happen next. but for gaming i guess thats it, i realised i didnt have the drive to game as i did before back in those years of puberty, always wanting to just play ps2 and such, now its just kinda boring, unless the game is interesting like kh. sigh good times. but yeah hmms i like the song sanctuary by utadu hikaru, as garmon said any song that is put up there related to pictures is just compelling and makes you interested in it, but i guess its more than that, its sucha deep song and it soudns nice so yeah :D
anyways on the topic of music, if your reading my blog you probably noticed that i added the ipod thing. its pro. hafto thank leah for linking me to that site ^^ www.myflashfetish.com yes sounds kinda wrong, and as leah was reluctant to first check it out, so was i , but then i clicked it and i got pwnt procrastinating oh wells xD far out leah =p
anyways but yes :D
and now i just checked how long it is till my first test 9 days zomg
=/
to do list:
- study
- study
- study
- download tv shows,music etc.
- study
- go library and study
funny for once it is =="
so im off once again to save the world ( i wish i could)
anyways :D
laters.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Chain Of Memories
i just got out of the shower, and what i thought felt like half a hour in the shower, was only like 5mins, it felt so long due to the fact that i thought quite a lot. its been a thing i do regularly, sometimes overthink which just kinda pwns me. but nonetheless just thinking abt uni, the future, the past things like that, i remember thinking back to the times of bianca, i thought about one day in particular that i spent with her, basically we were at parra just doing random stuff on the rooftop, just talking chilling, then it became abit weird coz of the problems we had, but nonetheless we just hugged and got through it, and i just remember looking into her eyes and just being happy, then after it just went inside parra westfields and just sat arnd the sofas, funny thing was everything was closing and like we were hiding around the sofas, we exchanged alot of smiles with eachother and laughs and stuff and giggles quite fun and yeah it really made everything much more exicting, then sad time had to come and she had to go tutor, but another twist came in the story, after all my whining :P she decided to jig like 15mins or half a hour of tutor and we hung around in the parking lot near the tutor, just randomly talking to eachother then a moment came where we were just hugging eachother, the moon was bright and i just looked at eachother, eyes shining , all that corny stuff ( you may think all this stuff is bs and only comes in movies but it really did happen), but yeah looked eachother and smiled and after it she just laid her head on my chest, and after all that she went to tutor said our goodbyes had a massively long hug and yeah off i was back home to padstow.
i dont know why but i remember that night so well, i remember back on the train ride home i couldnt stop laughing, and i knew that moment would stay with me for the rest of my life. that moment was one point in my life that i was truly happy. sigh memories.
anyways ill blog more later, off to church
back from church, church was aight, did the usual be quiet ponder and pray. was quite pleasant. anyways ive been kinda giggling alot lately just randomly laughing at random times, pretty random but yeah over really funny things, i had a good convo with garmon last night, pretty epic funny, i like the convos i have with garmon, there alwas free flowing with random jokes, puns, dick, you know anything homo and any laughable thing you name it, its funny shit. but yeah dehehe
anyways im off for real now, nothing much else to say, guess my mind is kinda at ease coz of church.
laters
i dont know why but i remember that night so well, i remember back on the train ride home i couldnt stop laughing, and i knew that moment would stay with me for the rest of my life. that moment was one point in my life that i was truly happy. sigh memories.
anyways ill blog more later, off to church
back from church, church was aight, did the usual be quiet ponder and pray. was quite pleasant. anyways ive been kinda giggling alot lately just randomly laughing at random times, pretty random but yeah over really funny things, i had a good convo with garmon last night, pretty epic funny, i like the convos i have with garmon, there alwas free flowing with random jokes, puns, dick, you know anything homo and any laughable thing you name it, its funny shit. but yeah dehehe
anyways im off for real now, nothing much else to say, guess my mind is kinda at ease coz of church.
laters
Saturday, October 4, 2008
5AM
i just realised after signing in that my last post was my 50th post =o
i was looking back at my first ever posts, and i remember bianca saying, "in a few months time when you look back at these posts youll think they were stupid and childish".. she is wrong, i look back at these posts and they remind me of the good times i had with her, back to when my blog was called " shes so cool.." and i had loserface:) in my nickname. they were good times, ah i kinda wish i could go back in time to that moment and relive it ( like in kingdom hearts 2, yes ive been playing kh2, more on that later in the post) i guess i was happier back then with things the way they were, just bianca, she was amazing, nothing else i can say, but yeah i doubt she'll ever read this but if you do whattup ?
its weird coz i slept at 5am, yeah i know wtf? and guess what i was doing....
PLAYING KH2, that game is preh cool, its pretty deep and emotional and yeah i kidna wish i could have a keyblade of some sort, i rkn itd be cool, " saving people, hunting things" LOL ( i can imagine garmon at this exact moment with that shitty seedy smile on his face) anyways yeah slep at 5am and woke up at what i thought was 12:34pm ended up being 11:34 am coz my dad changed the clocks due to daylight saving but yeah all in all i gguess i got like 6hrs of sleep, which is reasonable, i dont get it though im kinda wide awake atm.
i was watching soul eater last night as well, must admit pretty good anime, goes up there with code geass but yeah good shows to watch if your an anime fan.
i should really get done to study, i was planning to go to the libary today and 2mr, but since i slept so late and the weather was pretty gloomy decided not to, and id prob only go to the lib rfor like 3 hrs, coz of travel and stuff, so i guess its more convenient from home to study, plan to finish dot point biology, fuck hsc.
anyways im off
laters.
i was looking back at my first ever posts, and i remember bianca saying, "in a few months time when you look back at these posts youll think they were stupid and childish".. she is wrong, i look back at these posts and they remind me of the good times i had with her, back to when my blog was called " shes so cool.." and i had loserface:) in my nickname. they were good times, ah i kinda wish i could go back in time to that moment and relive it ( like in kingdom hearts 2, yes ive been playing kh2, more on that later in the post) i guess i was happier back then with things the way they were, just bianca, she was amazing, nothing else i can say, but yeah i doubt she'll ever read this but if you do whattup ?
its weird coz i slept at 5am, yeah i know wtf? and guess what i was doing....
PLAYING KH2, that game is preh cool, its pretty deep and emotional and yeah i kidna wish i could have a keyblade of some sort, i rkn itd be cool, " saving people, hunting things" LOL ( i can imagine garmon at this exact moment with that shitty seedy smile on his face) anyways yeah slep at 5am and woke up at what i thought was 12:34pm ended up being 11:34 am coz my dad changed the clocks due to daylight saving but yeah all in all i gguess i got like 6hrs of sleep, which is reasonable, i dont get it though im kinda wide awake atm.
i was watching soul eater last night as well, must admit pretty good anime, goes up there with code geass but yeah good shows to watch if your an anime fan.
i should really get done to study, i was planning to go to the libary today and 2mr, but since i slept so late and the weather was pretty gloomy decided not to, and id prob only go to the lib rfor like 3 hrs, coz of travel and stuff, so i guess its more convenient from home to study, plan to finish dot point biology, fuck hsc.
anyways im off
laters.
Friday, October 3, 2008
The Train Of Thought
as i stare at the bottom right hand corner while im typing this blog, it is currently 3:25 AM , i dont even know why im awake, i guess i cant sleep, lately its been kinda hard getting sleep, mainly due to the fact that im not tired at this time, i dont know why im not tired, but i know for sure my eyes are wide open. sigh i guess another contributing factor to why i cant sleep is ive been thinking alot lately. gah its been weird but jsut too many things on my mind, thinking back to the past, all the memories and stuff its been pretty good/bad/depressing/happy/sad..? i really dont know, jsut alot of rush of emotions come through my head.
i kinda find it funny though, how someone with so much on theyre mind ends up falling asleep, its like in an instance bam you dreaming, i had the weirdest dream last night which involved me frank lazy bond danny and bruce, smoking pot in the park ( lol indeed) pretty random ended up going city clubbing then getting arrested coz frank was starting shit with the bouncers, after that the dream ended and i woke up and it show 12:34pm. i gotta stop sleeping so late, fuck am i an insomniac now? idk. i just gotta stop this...
i was reading garmons lattest blog just then and the last few sentences in his blog made me ponder
"What is out there? Who is out there? Is there anything out there for me? Is there anyone who wants me?"
i sometimes ask myself those questions, like what does the world have instore for me, will i find "the one" anytime soon, i know it may sound childish and stupid but i guess it makes me wonder, after watching all those movies where people find that person that they can truly love and care about, i guess it does make you wonder, but theyre movies, and as garmon would say, "your life isnt like a movie francis"or something along the lines of that, i kinda havent thanked garmon enough recently for what hes done, he's my best friend and hes getting me through some tough times as of late, so thanks man for always being there and always trying to get me to think on the real =).(it works, so yeah youve gotten through to me mang) but it never hurts to drift off haha
time is running out, gah needta study
anyways imma try and sleep or something
laters.
i kinda find it funny though, how someone with so much on theyre mind ends up falling asleep, its like in an instance bam you dreaming, i had the weirdest dream last night which involved me frank lazy bond danny and bruce, smoking pot in the park ( lol indeed) pretty random ended up going city clubbing then getting arrested coz frank was starting shit with the bouncers, after that the dream ended and i woke up and it show 12:34pm. i gotta stop sleeping so late, fuck am i an insomniac now? idk. i just gotta stop this...
i was reading garmons lattest blog just then and the last few sentences in his blog made me ponder
"What is out there? Who is out there? Is there anything out there for me? Is there anyone who wants me?"
i sometimes ask myself those questions, like what does the world have instore for me, will i find "the one" anytime soon, i know it may sound childish and stupid but i guess it makes me wonder, after watching all those movies where people find that person that they can truly love and care about, i guess it does make you wonder, but theyre movies, and as garmon would say, "your life isnt like a movie francis"or something along the lines of that, i kinda havent thanked garmon enough recently for what hes done, he's my best friend and hes getting me through some tough times as of late, so thanks man for always being there and always trying to get me to think on the real =).(it works, so yeah youve gotten through to me mang) but it never hurts to drift off haha
time is running out, gah needta study
anyways imma try and sleep or something
laters.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
...We're Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
hmms today, (well yesterday since today is october) was a sad day
i dont really know how to explain how i feel, but after talking to david, garmon, john, samantha and alyssa things got a bit better but yeah you know not really.
hmms basically went to state, did some work, kinda happy with the amount, but you can never study so much, so i gotta try motivate myself.
hmms all my study came to a halt when i had this conversation with someone, we talked abt just ;things' (dont really wanna talk abt it at this point in time) but yeah i dont know but at the time it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and showed to me, but i also felt angry and frustrated as things were left unexplained but enough of that, i just felt so shattered and cut and sad and wtf at the time. im just shattered now i guess. just like the shards of glass when you punch a window or something, pieces and fragments on the floor , thats kinda like me i guess. im kind of lost atm, just dont know wtf is happening or wtf i did or wtf. but yeah
garmon explained the situation well on msn;
but the world did nothing and time moved on said:
because even though you tried really hard to keep to together, c**** just didnt bother?
i remember talking to david abt it as well but yeah we had a deep and meaningful, alot of truthful and emotional stuff was said and david told me abt our weaknesses and that we think too much, i infact think thats true, i was like blind to it before but i realise now overthinking is not good, so kids dont do it., but yeah im kinda glad i have friends who i can turn to, garmon,david, john cho and jackee thanks for helping me out today, even though its kinda hard to squeeze out a smile youve guys have tried so thanks =) but yeah sad times. with hsc on the way as well fuck im always caught up in these shit situations at shit times, oh wells thats life for you, i remember some quote from rocky its like stuck in my head
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward."
pretty good quote but yeah its true, its how life is, it hits hard but you just gotta bounce back from it.
bleh well the good out of yesterday was before all that convo was brought forward, had some pretty good laughs with garmon chris and john cho.
i had a good convo with garmon abt our OCD's well not really jsut talking abt how we want things to be perfect like room cleaning etc. good convo. then yeah buying easyway was worth it today, and the vitamin water tasted nice though i still dont know what dragonfruit is, i should look up on that but yeah it was alright i guess up till that convo but yeah...
i had a good 1 and a half hours though after that convo just walking arnd by myself, thought alot, i went to st marys cathedral, kinda looked up there for help, but yeah.i pray for a lot of things. to do well for hsc, for things to be alright with cb but is it selfish to pray for those things? i dont know i jsut wish god would put out some sign for me, coz right now i dont know what is happening =/ anyways after walking arnd and sitting randomly at park benches playing with my phone, ended up back at lib and she was gone, sigh...
not much has happened lately besides that. just been kinda sad and emotional at times and i guess with this whole thing thats come up its made it worse, hmms ive been trying to act like everythings fine but sam told me today that even before the whole conversation i was kinda acting weird so i guess i suck at hiding shit, i wear my heart on my sleeve. is there anything wrong with that? no not really, just some people show emotion easier than others. but yeah.
anyways,
download "Broken Heart - Motion City Soundtrack" good song i relate, kudos to garmon =d
laters.
i dont really know how to explain how i feel, but after talking to david, garmon, john, samantha and alyssa things got a bit better but yeah you know not really.
hmms basically went to state, did some work, kinda happy with the amount, but you can never study so much, so i gotta try motivate myself.
hmms all my study came to a halt when i had this conversation with someone, we talked abt just ;things' (dont really wanna talk abt it at this point in time) but yeah i dont know but at the time it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and showed to me, but i also felt angry and frustrated as things were left unexplained but enough of that, i just felt so shattered and cut and sad and wtf at the time. im just shattered now i guess. just like the shards of glass when you punch a window or something, pieces and fragments on the floor , thats kinda like me i guess. im kind of lost atm, just dont know wtf is happening or wtf i did or wtf. but yeah
garmon explained the situation well on msn;
but the world did nothing and time moved on said:
because even though you tried really hard to keep to together, c**** just didnt bother?
i remember talking to david abt it as well but yeah we had a deep and meaningful, alot of truthful and emotional stuff was said and david told me abt our weaknesses and that we think too much, i infact think thats true, i was like blind to it before but i realise now overthinking is not good, so kids dont do it., but yeah im kinda glad i have friends who i can turn to, garmon,david, john cho and jackee thanks for helping me out today, even though its kinda hard to squeeze out a smile youve guys have tried so thanks =) but yeah sad times. with hsc on the way as well fuck im always caught up in these shit situations at shit times, oh wells thats life for you, i remember some quote from rocky its like stuck in my head
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward."
pretty good quote but yeah its true, its how life is, it hits hard but you just gotta bounce back from it.
bleh well the good out of yesterday was before all that convo was brought forward, had some pretty good laughs with garmon chris and john cho.
i had a good convo with garmon abt our OCD's well not really jsut talking abt how we want things to be perfect like room cleaning etc. good convo. then yeah buying easyway was worth it today, and the vitamin water tasted nice though i still dont know what dragonfruit is, i should look up on that but yeah it was alright i guess up till that convo but yeah...
i had a good 1 and a half hours though after that convo just walking arnd by myself, thought alot, i went to st marys cathedral, kinda looked up there for help, but yeah.i pray for a lot of things. to do well for hsc, for things to be alright with cb but is it selfish to pray for those things? i dont know i jsut wish god would put out some sign for me, coz right now i dont know what is happening =/ anyways after walking arnd and sitting randomly at park benches playing with my phone, ended up back at lib and she was gone, sigh...
not much has happened lately besides that. just been kinda sad and emotional at times and i guess with this whole thing thats come up its made it worse, hmms ive been trying to act like everythings fine but sam told me today that even before the whole conversation i was kinda acting weird so i guess i suck at hiding shit, i wear my heart on my sleeve. is there anything wrong with that? no not really, just some people show emotion easier than others. but yeah.
anyways,
download "Broken Heart - Motion City Soundtrack" good song i relate, kudos to garmon =d
laters.
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