Rocketeer

You find bliss in the randomest of places, like last night in the taxi ride home, i had a very good conversation with the taxi driver, not really a dnm but it was just one of those convos that just made things seem alright. This whole week has been rather =| and i guess all i really needed was a really good dnm with someone. It sucks when the people you can have them with either are busy with work, busy with other stuff, say they are gonna call you but forget, their msn fails, doing other random stuff or are just mia when you need a dnm the most. I don't blame them cause lifes like that but it sucks, i mean the convo with the taxi driver wasn't a dnm but it sort of got me better, being able to talk to a random about just random stuff and not having the conversation end. But yeah..

Last night was pretty random, i cant be bothered going into details but alot of fkd up shit happened.

Define Yourself.

i woke up feeling pretty shitty today, i guess sleeping at 4am for no reason and waking up early had something to do with it. i should really stop sleeping late such a bad habit. Quite a random day today, friend came over at around 11 then studied till 3 ish then he left, then from 3 onwards till now i did not know what the fuck i did, though i had a couple of interesting conversations today with people. A friend made me realise somethings today, like it was a big slap across the face when she mentioned it, sort of like how say one of your friends is doing something annoying and you dont see it, but then another friend tells you about that annoying thing your friend is doing then bam a glass shatters in your head and you realise that thing that is annoying. I don't know if that was a good explanation but yeah anyways my friend just made me realised all these things about me which i never realised about myself and i was just like "dayuummm", another friend asked me to "define yourself" and i had no answer to that so it sort of got me thinking so i guess thats what ive been doing for the past say like 8 hours and to be honest i haven't come up with anything and it's sorta bugging me that i haven't like fuck im nearly 20 i should be able to know what i want to be later on in life but here i am stuck still being immature.

Cannonball

It's weird how when someone tells you to listen to a batch of songs and from those songs as you start listening to each of them, certain songs that have certain lyrics seem apply to your life right now. cannonball by damien rice and long gone and moved on by script seem to be like getting to me.

These past 3 days Friday-Sunday have been pretty damn just =|, Im sucha stooge. I should stop being in limbo and just say what i wanna say, i should stop overthinking everything, i should stop being so god damn caught up in my thoughts. I'm sorry for being an idiot/retard/douchebag.

Winter Wars

I'm not really in the best of moods, i'm pretty annoyed and edgy at a lot of things. This whole week has just been pretty exhausting and i guess the near sleepless nights are getting to me. It's been a pretty long week, tuesday - bball training, wednesday - hotel party, thursday - haircut/ matt lee's hotpot and today - basketball training again, tomorrow - basktball game/ mums birthday party. Pretty damn long week. The hotel party was pretty tb, like really tb. I should've drank more but got there late and most of the alchohol was already gone so oh wells. The jog home that night was wtf cause theres some roadwork at Padstow so the nightride dropped me off at the other side and i had to jog at least 3kms to get home. Matt's hotpot was fun even though most of the night i was like sorta sleeping cause i had like an hour sleep the night before. SO i guess this week was alright, but i still cant help but feel annoyed at stuff. I feel exhausted and it sucks cause when it gets to the sleeping part of the day it takes me a while to actually fall asleep. Whats even more random is i woke up this morning with blood on my pillow and when i washed my face in the morning i realised i had this random cut on my lip. Don't even know how i got it, keeps bleeding every now and then. This cold weather is just too ownage.

dot dot dot

Another cold night where i'm up mega late again thinking about everything. An odd feeling overcame me tonight and it wasn't a good feeling. I guess the realisation of how shit my results were this semester hit me. I failed accounting yet again due to my lack of focus and no motivation to study. fml seriously. I'm at another crossroads in my life where i need some answers..I feel so lost, lost in this endless grind day in and day out.





ps. shoutout to ware kuo, i know you stalk my blogs you sucka

The motivation for me was them telling me what i couldn't be... oh well

It's been a while since i blogged... again. Truth be told i just cant be bothered thinking about what to post. My life's pretty boring.

But anyways i'm just posting this to remind myself about the slapbet i made today with Lucia. Basically the bet is for this semester we must get distinctions or higher for all our subjects this semester. If a person does not get a distinction for every subject the other person has a right to slap them according to how many subjects they did not get a distinction in.

It's a good motivational bet. So time to study up...or not...?



ps. heres a reminder of my first slapbet i won.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video.php?v=178345235345&subj=849425345

=]

hi matt

hi matt=D

It's Heartbreak Warfare

When did it become so cold in the morning? fuck first time i woke up in the AM hours of the day in like 2 weeks and its fucking terrible. I had to put on another layer which was in the form of my school jumper. Warm shizzle.

Anyways fuck another mini hiatus from blogging. I remember saying i would blog more often but as life is i got too carried away with other stuff and couldn't be bothered updating. Well its long awaited and it'll probably be a short post but here goes...

Nothing really interesting has happened in my life lately. Just had the 'mid term break" for uni. For a week it felt like a long week. It actually feels like a month since i've been to uni and here i am typing before i get a lift to the station and trek it up to Parramatta again. I haven't been doing much besides sleep around 3am-4am and wake up at like 2pm or 3pm the next day. Lazy times but for some reason i couldnt help it. Out of all the times i tried to set my alarm to wake up at like 11 or 12 i slept through it or i would wake up turn it off then go back to sleep and here i am paying the price for it. I've got my mid sems coming up and its going to be hell. I've got an exam this Saturday for accounting. Which is going to be GG since i havent really prepared much for it and then next Wednesday i have 3 exams in a row, LOBO, STATS and CFM. That indeed is GFG (gee fucking gee) im totally fucked for that. So if you suddenly dont hear from me for a while my brain probably exploded that day and i died. Maybe you'll hear it in the news but yeah... GG

Funnily enough through all the sleep i got last week i was barely able to get any last night. It seems to happen so often when i set my alarm and have to wake up for something i end up hardly getting sleep. Its so fucked. I remember going to bed at like 12:30 and for 3 and a half hours i rolled around in bed thought after thought of random shit in my life. It was quite annoying. I finally fell asleep around 4ish but i had to wake up at 7. 3 hrs of sleep fml

And now the feeling is kicking in of not sleeping...

GFG

I Can Transform Ya

It's been a while since i've blogged. Funnily enough i said i would blog more often but i guess i've just been busy with random things and personally at times i think i've lost the passions of the christs for blogging. Hopefully i'll be able to randomly post every now and then but yeah... damn chin...

Anyways nothings really been happening in my life, just the usual going uni Tues-Thurs, Basketball training Wednesday nights and basketball on Saturdays. All the other days i just stay at home and make an attempt to study. Speaking of basketball, i've gotten the passion back and i sort of just want to improve. There's so many things to work on and our finals are on this Saturday. Hopefully everything turns out alright and we rack up a win. I'm really pumped to win this game on Saturday due to the fact that the team we're versing are suckers and i must avenge Ware Kuo's death last game to them.

It's weird how next year i'm turning 20 next year. Ware said something to me on msn a day or two ago about how we've like lived at least 1/4 of our lives. This is assuming we live to 80, hopefully i do but if not i hope when i look back at my life i can say that i lived life to the fullest and just look back and make sure i have no regrets. These thoughts triggered a random burst of energy in me to stop being lazy and just live life every day. I don't know how long this will last but i hope it does in the hopes of just reviving my life from its dull and boring days. But yeah for now, i must fight on!

Anyways this post makes no sense to me. It didn't have any flow and seemed sucker so i'm just going to cut it off here since i have uni tomorrow.

Till Next Time.

Mario.

Half Of My Heart

i feel.... disconnected

Up In the Air

I watched Up in the air today, fair to say it was one of the best movies i've watched in a long time. It was one of those really deep and meaningful movies that had some certain moral to it. it was basically how it is absoultely necessary or it is unavoidable that we have relationships in our lives, as the movie was surrounding George Clooney and his character Ryan Bingham. Basically his job is to go around travelling to different companies around America and basically do the talking and telling of firing people. In a sense since he is always "up in the air" as a means of flying he is rarely able to establish and real connection or relationship with anyone thus living a relationship-free/ lonely life. This changes however when Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick) comes into his life and challenges his philosphy on a relationship free life. I would love to go into more detail but it would ruin the sense and feeling of the movie so i'll leave it at this. Basically i recommend watching the movie its worth it :) Another worthwhile mentionable is that throughout the movie i admired how George Clooney adapted into the role he was set in the movie. It was a good performance and its why i admire him in movies like the Oceans Series and Syriana. The only letdown of the movie was the ending. It was kind of a very heartwarming but sort of sad ending. It left me thinking about certain aspects of my life and in reference to the movie just kept me thinking of the significant relationships of my life that have shaped me to be the way i am today. The movie also left me with a heartwarming quote of "everybody needs a co-pilot" it seems pretty not heartwarming when read out loud but in the context of the movie and just the way it was said it just suited the feel of the movie. So i suggest to everyone who is reading this post (well if theres anyone...) to GO OUT AND WATCH IT :D

Anyways besides that i ended up buying 30 rock season 2 and season 3 on DVD so i am very mega happy about this. Out of impulse i also bought Dave Chapelle Season 1 on dvd. Damn i'm so excited on watching them:)

Dreams

I don't often remember my dreams, in a week i'd often remember 2 dreams, sometimes i'd even be lucky to remember 1. But no the off chance that i remember the dreams usually have a meaning or some significance in my life. Like i would sometimes think the dreams i remember coincide with some events in my life or some thoughts that are clogged up in my mind. So when i do remember a dream i sometimes search up the meaning for that particular dream. Like today for example, i woke up remembering a dream where i was being chased by 3 lebbo guys. In the end i escaped by just outrunning them. But i remember the dream being pretty intense. I was with two other people so i don't know what happened to them but yeah. Anyways as soon as i woke up i just kicked my sister off the laptop and searched up "running away dreams" and just clicked on the first link and when i scrolled down to "running" and it came up with this interpretation.

To dream that you are running away from someone, indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears.

When i think about it, yeah i guess it does apply to certain things in my life at the moment. But for now i shall not go into detail about them :)

I've been binging on like calippos over the past couple of days. I don't know if its bad or not but ever since my dad bought like 3 boxes ive just been eating them non stop. I think i should stop, im scared of the sugar content, i don't want to get diabetes =x.

Anyways in reference to my last post about the things i want to do about 30, i was thinking about it last night before i slept and while i was watching the late show with david letterman, i should post them up on my blog for keeps sake and so i dont forget about them. But yeah stay tuned for that post :)

You're the only star in the film i never made

Not much has happened these past couple of days just same old things. Waking up at around 10-11 in the morning and wasting the day away randomly doing stuff around the house. I went out to Burwood earlier on in the week to play some dota with the boys and that was breath of fresh air. I haven't been out with them since like new years eve/new years and it was nice to see them again, after all boys will be boys and i had fun.

My sleeping has sort of fixed itself a bit, which is a relief cause i was getting really annoyed at just lying in bed and not being able to get to sleep. I don't know what i changed to be able to sleep sort of normal again but i hope it continues and this trouble of sleeping becomes a thing of the past quickly.

I've also started watching 30 rock. I bought season 1 on that day i went Burwood to dota. It's a good show, i like the crude humour thats in it. Its enjoyable and has given me a lot of laughs at night. I need to get the 2nd and 3rd season on dvd. I feel the need of just collecting tv shows and stuff on dvd. It'd be mad having like a shelf that just displays all the tv shows ive collected. It'd be pretty awesome.

On another note, i need to buy a new suit, like a one thats properly fitted. This came about after watching the lastest episode of how i met your mother (100th episode i might add), when at the end of the episode there was a musical number about Barney and his suits. It really made me want to get a suit. I guess thats product integration for you (this is from 30 rock). Also on that episode, Rachel Bilson made a guest appearance as one of Ted's love interests...well sorta you just got to watch the episode, i don't want to spoil it. Though something about Rachel Bilson is so god damn mega cute.

I can't wait till i get to go to America again. A number of things on my list to do before im 30, is mainly based in America, one of which is going to a Los Angeles Lakers game at the staples centre and watch an All-Star Game/ Dunk competition (this was sort of stolen off someone but meh =p). Another thing on my list is to go and watch The Late Show with David Letterman live. This might seem random but the late nights when i had nothing to do i would turn on the tv and watch it. Hes a pretty funny guy and has given me a lot of laughs. I'd also like to meet Kobe Bryant or Michael jordan, or like just get something signed from them as memorabilia. Damn i wish i could go America now. Oh wells hopefully in the next couple of years or so like after i finish uni or something but yeah !

Anyways time to be off ! till next time =]

Sleepless in.. Padstow?

I haven't been able to get much sleep lately or i just have had trouble lately with getting to sleep. It's annoying, getting into bed at a reasonable hour (around 10-11:30), lights off all tucked in and then just lying there endlessly and not being able to get to sleep till like 3 or 4am in the morning. I've tried all sorts of remedies like doing some pushups or working out before i sleep, drinking hot milk and counting sheep and all but none have worked. I should look up other remedies soon. If not possibly get it checked up. I remember a friend of mine also had a problem like this and was diagnosed with insomnia. It's kind of daunting when i think about it, that maybe i could be having an insomnia phase. But oh wells we'll see how this week goes in terms of sleeping. I try to pinpoint on what it is causing this, i thought it could be overthinking but then again my mind isnt really working at that time. It's been pretty blank, the occasional thought but other than that its just counting sheep. I remember counting up to like 562 sheep and just giving up and watching a movie.

Besides this sleeping problem my life has been uneventful, Drove a bit today for the first time in a while. Kinda scary i wasnt used to it, nearly turned too much and crashed but meh learning is fun.

Anyways time for another fun night lying in bed..

Are you hoping for a miracle?

It's been like a week since the start of new year, and fek time has gone by pretty quickly. I can't really remember what i've been doing for this past week except like sleeping at home and playing ps2 and watching tv. It's been a pretty boring 2010 so far. I've only ever been out once and that was 2 days ago with philip, jackee and david. Pretty fun outing, started off with me and Philip going burwood and i purchased 2K10. Then the outing turned random. It was a pretty fun outing. Only let down was that i waited like ages for a bus to come and just ended up training it home. But yeah my 2010 hasn't been all that fun. I've still got like another month and 3 weeks of holidays and i don't know what to do with my time. I've been pretty lazy these days. I think i should go out more..

Anyways i was watching 21 again last night, and i must say Kate Bosworth, pretty not bad. Something about her is just sexy, same with Amber Heard and as of late Ana Ivanovic (due to the exposure of tennis on tv). Guddamn. I've been having trouble sleeping as of late. Since my desktop computer has broken down, ive resorted to using my mums laptop since shes in the philippines. But ever since i've been using the laptop i would usually just get off at 10pm ish due to the fact my dad just thinks the laptop overheats or something and yeah. I would then preceed to watching tv for a bit then getting to bed around 11-12 depending on whats tv. Then the endless thoughts would begin and i wouldn't be able to sleep till like 3-4 in the morning. It's pretty fucked up and i don't know why i just can't fall asleep. Even when i try to turn my thoughts off, still no effect. I need like sleeping pills or something but then again i dont want to become a pills junkie. Maybe warm milk will help...

Anyways too much rambling on in this post. I'm gonna finish off watching the college game on one HD. Kentucky vs Louisville. John Wall, whatta prospect.