Lately i've been really defensive. Just not really opening up or initiating anything. I don't know why but i just feel a bit suss about certain people and i've been feeling overall distant and just weird this past week. Uni's been okay so i don't think its that, Family has been okay nothing really drastic has happened cept im going to be home alone for the next 2 weeks which is going to be pretty good but somewhat weird in a way. Friends, well i've been distant from quite a few, to be honest there are like 4 people i can certainly say i trust with all my heart. I don't know about the everyone else that i consider a true friend, it's just confusing or maybe im taking things outta context but it just feels people have moved on with their lives and i've sorta been left behind or maybe im just one emo whiny son of a bitch, thats why things are like this but yeah i dunno. It's like i got to station too late and i just missed the train.
As i write this blog im listening to Beautiful - Eminem, it's a pretty powerful song. I like the lyrics and the overall beat of it. I like songs that i can relate to, it makes it even more a reason to listen to and just overall chill out to it. I like the intro to the song and i can say it relates to the general idea of this post
Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everybody has their private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me?
Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me?
I'm reaching out for you
I miss certain people or just how things were or how they were. I miss all the little things. The late nights up without a care in the world.. *starts dreaming....*
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
She Fixes Her Lips, They Always Look Perfect.
Another random late night out with Richie L in the city playing poker. I got home later than i did last night but yeah nonetheless these last two nights have been epicly randomly especially tonight. Just a brief recap of what i did today, i went to Macq Uni to hang with richard during his lectures, saw jay, nellie and david. Hung around there till like 5 and then i convinced richard to come city to play poker. Got there at around 5:30, dropped david off at work. Pretty good times seeing him at work ( background story behind this ) But anyways after that visited garmon, got a map of where the bowlers club was, Went there played some poker then randomly got asked to go to a PRO game. Ended up at some place near central at 10 and pokered till like 1. Then i caught a nightride home. I met quite a lot of people today due to poker. All funny people and yeah i've enjoyed the last two nights quite alot. They were quite long days but yeah such fun times, Though i need a job fully poor these days. I hope davey jones hires me.
These past couple of days i've been thinking about a certain person. I just had to blurt it out cause it's been clouding my mind too much and i haven;t really dnmed with anyone recently about it or about anything really so its kinda gay but oh wells.
oh btw sorry amanda >=[. I feel bad for not replying. Though i didnt get any smses from you so yeah thats gay. I'm sorry!. It feels like we havent talked in ages and yeah =[
anyways i think this blog post is pretty fail. I didnt structure shit properly
i guess im just tired to the max
These past couple of days i've been thinking about a certain person. I just had to blurt it out cause it's been clouding my mind too much and i haven;t really dnmed with anyone recently about it or about anything really so its kinda gay but oh wells.
oh btw sorry amanda >=[. I feel bad for not replying. Though i didnt get any smses from you so yeah thats gay. I'm sorry!. It feels like we havent talked in ages and yeah =[
anyways i think this blog post is pretty fail. I didnt structure shit properly
i guess im just tired to the max
Monday, August 3, 2009
Our Life is Not A Movie or Maybe
Anyone who can guess where the title of my post comes from, i'll give them something cool.
I slept quite good last night no interruptions after getting into bed and putting spiderman 2 on i fell asleep in like the first 20mins of the movie. I woke up at around 12ish but i rolled around in bed for like an hour and got up. Ate some breakfast made some coffee and now i'm on a caffeine high !
I seem to always feel DNM when no one is really around or when everyone is busy doing other shit its quite sad cause i felt DNM last night and the usual people i'd go to weren't there so instead i caught up with someone on my list and it was quite enlightening. I guess it was good no one was on cause i kinda was able to get to bed quite early and get a good nights sleep.
I think its time to get a haircut. I really want to shave it but like its kinda cold iruno maybe ill just cut it a bit shorter.
I slept quite good last night no interruptions after getting into bed and putting spiderman 2 on i fell asleep in like the first 20mins of the movie. I woke up at around 12ish but i rolled around in bed for like an hour and got up. Ate some breakfast made some coffee and now i'm on a caffeine high !
I seem to always feel DNM when no one is really around or when everyone is busy doing other shit its quite sad cause i felt DNM last night and the usual people i'd go to weren't there so instead i caught up with someone on my list and it was quite enlightening. I guess it was good no one was on cause i kinda was able to get to bed quite early and get a good nights sleep.
I think its time to get a haircut. I really want to shave it but like its kinda cold iruno maybe ill just cut it a bit shorter.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
The Tide That Left And Never Came Back
"There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."
- George Bernard Shaw
I came across this interesting quote while i was watching one tree hill season 2 the episode called " The Tide That Left And Never Came Back". It's quite an interesting quote, like losing your heart's desire is obviously a tragedy in itself but the 2nd part of the quote about "gaining it" kind of puzzled me. Cause if you gained your heart's desire, would'nt you be content and be happy ?. For me, to lose your heart's desire is an obvious one cause it is a tragedy if you lose something that your heart so desperately wants, the 2nd part about gaining your heart's desire i guess means that once you get something your heart wants, your kinda adrift or something like that. It's like that episode where J.D ended up getting Elliot but after he got her he realised he didn't want her, so i guess thats a tragedy? i dont now. Anyways i further looked into the quote and i realised a lot of people have different takes on this quote. Some people think that the 2nd part of the quote about gaining your heart's desire is that if you were to somehow get everything that you want in life, you would lose your life's purpose or the pain it takes in attaining your goals and your desires or something like that. Also that gaining your heart's desire is a tragedy because you then know that you are one day bound to lose it. But then again once you gain it, your most certain to never let it go. but then again you might lose it due to death... but yeah. Interesting quote. What are your takes on it?
Anyways i feel pretty DNM tonight. But no one's really online that i can converse with a conversation that flows so pretty fails i guess. I'll save it up for next time. I didn't really do much today cept go to the gong for a family outing thing. Little cousins birthday so yeah. Got there arnd 3ish and like bummed and stuff. Played guitar hero for a while then ate then watched tv then more guitar hero then i fell asleep then i was with my mum, aunties and uncle i the kitchen and they were reminscing about Michael Jackson. Just gathered with them arnd the computer screen looking at youtube clips of MJ's old MV's and yeah interesting hearing all there comments. I guess it all affected them greatly. But yeah they were willingly able to joke about stuff. Like my uncle made me crack up so hard about all the stuff he said about MJ and the meanings to his songs. He means good though just trying to get a laugh outta everyone. He's a pretty funny guy. But yeah after that i watched more tv and guitar hero then said goodbyes and went home. I thought abit in the car for like the first 20 mins of the trip about certain things and i made alotta realisations about life, uni, my future like what i want to do and like just different realisations about different friends and people etc. then i gradually fell asleep and woke up at home. I miss those days where i was like a kid and i'd fake fall asleep and my dad would carry me inside. I tried doing that today but my dad just shook me and told me to carry stuff inside, it brought a tear to my eye LOL nah jks but yeah. Since i got home i've just been on the comp. Watched the ending of superman returns. I didn't quite get it but all i know is Kate Bosworth is so fine.
I should sleep soon. I've got church this morning at 9 and i plan to get up at like 7:30 to eat breakfast and stuff. I think im going out as well after but yeah. I think im going to call it a night and another long post.
- George Bernard Shaw
I came across this interesting quote while i was watching one tree hill season 2 the episode called " The Tide That Left And Never Came Back". It's quite an interesting quote, like losing your heart's desire is obviously a tragedy in itself but the 2nd part of the quote about "gaining it" kind of puzzled me. Cause if you gained your heart's desire, would'nt you be content and be happy ?. For me, to lose your heart's desire is an obvious one cause it is a tragedy if you lose something that your heart so desperately wants, the 2nd part about gaining your heart's desire i guess means that once you get something your heart wants, your kinda adrift or something like that. It's like that episode where J.D ended up getting Elliot but after he got her he realised he didn't want her, so i guess thats a tragedy? i dont now. Anyways i further looked into the quote and i realised a lot of people have different takes on this quote. Some people think that the 2nd part of the quote about gaining your heart's desire is that if you were to somehow get everything that you want in life, you would lose your life's purpose or the pain it takes in attaining your goals and your desires or something like that. Also that gaining your heart's desire is a tragedy because you then know that you are one day bound to lose it. But then again once you gain it, your most certain to never let it go. but then again you might lose it due to death... but yeah. Interesting quote. What are your takes on it?
Anyways i feel pretty DNM tonight. But no one's really online that i can converse with a conversation that flows so pretty fails i guess. I'll save it up for next time. I didn't really do much today cept go to the gong for a family outing thing. Little cousins birthday so yeah. Got there arnd 3ish and like bummed and stuff. Played guitar hero for a while then ate then watched tv then more guitar hero then i fell asleep then i was with my mum, aunties and uncle i the kitchen and they were reminscing about Michael Jackson. Just gathered with them arnd the computer screen looking at youtube clips of MJ's old MV's and yeah interesting hearing all there comments. I guess it all affected them greatly. But yeah they were willingly able to joke about stuff. Like my uncle made me crack up so hard about all the stuff he said about MJ and the meanings to his songs. He means good though just trying to get a laugh outta everyone. He's a pretty funny guy. But yeah after that i watched more tv and guitar hero then said goodbyes and went home. I thought abit in the car for like the first 20 mins of the trip about certain things and i made alotta realisations about life, uni, my future like what i want to do and like just different realisations about different friends and people etc. then i gradually fell asleep and woke up at home. I miss those days where i was like a kid and i'd fake fall asleep and my dad would carry me inside. I tried doing that today but my dad just shook me and told me to carry stuff inside, it brought a tear to my eye LOL nah jks but yeah. Since i got home i've just been on the comp. Watched the ending of superman returns. I didn't quite get it but all i know is Kate Bosworth is so fine.
I should sleep soon. I've got church this morning at 9 and i plan to get up at like 7:30 to eat breakfast and stuff. I think im going out as well after but yeah. I think im going to call it a night and another long post.
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